What to do when you unintentionally become a bereavement photographer

Not all bereavement doulas are photographers, but sometimes we have to be. Here are some tips and resources to help you provide photographs to families after a loss.

Tip #1: Get some bereavement photographers on your resource list! Organizations and individuals are both great options. Remember that you can always message newborn photographers or doulatogs in your area and ask them if they'd be willing to help out in a case of loss. (Remember also that some organizations and individuals will have restrictions: one very popular organization, for example, will only serve families after 22 weeks gestation; if you're serving people who are having losses before that point, you'll need other options.)

But, when no one on the resource list is available, or when the family says that they're more comfortable with just you, these following tips will come in handy.

Tip #2: When I am working with a family, I will ask them, "May I please take photos?" I don't ask whether they want photos; I ask more directively. Many families have never considered having photos taken and may not realize what a valuable keepsake these photos could be. So, I ask in a more directive way about photos than I do about many other options.

Tip #3: You don't need to have a fancy camera to take beautiful photos. Use a smartphone, if that's what you have. You can always edit or ask a bereavement photographer to edit the photos later.

Tip #4: If you have the opportunity to offer photos in pregnancy or to connect families to photographers for a pregnancy photo session, do so. Sometimes, pregnancy with an anticipated loss gets forgotten in the focus on the coming death.

Tip #5: If Baby is really young, water immersion photography or saline immersion photography may be better options for highlighting their tiny features. You can find a step-by-step guide from ACOG here.

Tip #6: Wrap baby for at least some photos. There's something so natural about wrapping a baby's body in a blanket, even when it's very small.

Tip #7: Offer to take pictures of the Baby alone and of Baby with their family. Individual family members may also want pictures.

Tip #8: Position the Baby and the family in several different ways. The second half of this NILMDTS handout provides lots of ideas and some examples.

Tip #9: Don't send the photos to the family without warning. That can be a huge surprise. I like to give the family the photos on a physical flash drive so they can choose when they want to look at them. This also avoids some privacy concerns about sharing via the internet.

Tip #10: If a family has no remains or is looking for photographs a long time after a loss, you can take photographs of them with a stuffed animal, carved wooden item, or another memorial to represent the child.

Do you have additional suggestions? Comment them below to share your wisdom.

Photo by Ailbhe Flynn on Unsplash