100 ideas for what you can do tonight to take care of yourself

That's right. We have 100 ideas for how to do self care in the non-toxic, non-productivity-culture sense of the term.

Every Haven event ends with the leader asking themselves and everyone on the call,

What are you doing to take care of yourself after this call?"

Here are a literal hundred ideas for how to answer that question, all thought up by actual humans (no AI involved). These are genuine and from the heart. Find the one that works for you today, and remember that tomorrow you might need a different tool, but this list will still be here for you.

Resetting

1. Take a nap or go to bed early. (Need help with your sleep hygiene? Learn more here.)

2. Move to a different space than the one you've been in, for at least a few hours. (Consider a public library, a friend's house, or even just a different room in your typical space as options.)

3. Write down five things you are grateful for, or five people you are grateful have touched your life.

4. Write down five things you genuinely like about yourself.

5. Take a hot shower or bath.

6. Drink a very, very cold glass of water.

7. Light a delightfully scented candle. Set a timer for three minutes. For the whole three minutes, write or speak aloud a description of the candle.

8. Do a workout. (Find free online resources here and here.)

9. If you don't have time for a full workout, run as hard and fast as you can for just two minutes, or do jumping jacks or pushups furiously for the same amount of time.

10. Practice yoga or stretch. Move your muscles gently but insistently.

11. If your phone is part of the stress, change some settings (such as switching to dark mode, setting time limits on apps, or switching your ringtone).

12. Take a walk (especially out in nature, if possible).

13. Blow bubbles, mindfully.

14. Change your outfit.

15. Make yourself laugh, whether the laugh carries humor or not. (Learn about the practice of six laughs here.)

16. Look at yourself in the mirror and smile at yourself. Be determined to demonstrate ikindness to the you looking back at you.

17. Braid. This could be yarn, rope, hair, three pieces of tape, dough, whatever you have handy. Undo the plait and then braid again.

18. Press your fingers together as hard as you can (example here).

19. Pick a space and clean it for ten minutes, or do a discrete cleaning project (such as washing your sheets).

20. Or, try one of these six quick practices.

Reengaging

21. Practice shape breathing.

22. Do a body scan to notice what your body is telling you. (Here's a beautiful one focused on compassion for your body.)

23. Identify every color of the rainbow in the space around you: first red, then orange, then yellow, then green, then blue, then purple.

24. Watch a favorite show. (Some Haven doula recs: Food Network, Parks and Rec, Jane the Virgin, etc.)

25. Immerse yourself in a good book. (Consider a feel-good novel, an interesting non-fiction read, or a mystery where everything reliably gets put right in the end.)

    1. Need some recommendations? Keep your eye on the Haven blog!

26. Play with Legos, an old stuffie, or another nostalgic toy, just as you did when you were younger, for at least seven minutes.

27. Play tetris. Studies show that playing tetris can help stave off symptoms of vicarious trauma after witnessing something traumatic. (Read more here, here, or here.)

28. Do a crossword puzzle or another kind of word game, to give your brain the gift of putting language in order.

29. Consider what cognitive distortions may be shaping your thinking and engage in at least one practice to try to untwist your thinking.

30. Massage your hands. (Here are some instructions.)

31. Do a jigsaw puzzle or play with a Rubik's cube, to engage in bringing order out of chaos.

32. Use a small can of playdough or clay to sculpt the first bird you see. (If you can't see a bird, use this random bird generator instead.)

33. Find the fluffiest thing in your current space. Then sit with it for a few minutes, practicing training your attention on the thing.

34. Note five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.

35. Write an abecedarian poem about something you can see or here right now. (An abecedarian poem is one in which each line begins with the next letter of the alphabet.) You can find instructions and examples here.

36. Set a timer for three minutes and contemplate the beauty of the universe (consider NASA's astronomy picture of the day as a focal point).

37. Listen to a song you loved as a child or teen but haven't heard recently.

38. Find a livestream of a favorite animal and admire them for a few minutes.

39. Do a scavenger hunt in the space you're currently in:

    1. Find one item that reminds you of someone you love because of how it feels.

    2. Find one item that reminds you of someone you love because of what it says.

    3. Find one item that you love.

    4. Find one item that you could let go.

    5. Find one item that will likely make you feel braver.

    6. Find one item that helps you feel more like yourself.

Nourishing

40. Take an assessment of your mental health. These are often particularly useful when you do them repeatedly over time, but even just one assessment can help you identify what further support you might need.

41. Identify specific words to help you verbalize how you are feeling and how you would like to feel. (There are some great lists here, here, and here.)

42. Think about what your body craves when you need self care, and assess whether those are the things you want to crave. (There are a lot of useful assessments you can use to examine your desires from alcohol and other drugs; you can find a list here.)

43. Make a nutritious meal for yourself, focusing on the smells and feels of all the ingredients.

44. Make a nutritious drink, such as a smoothie or a cup of tea. As you are making it, move with intention and deliberateness. Then, when it is ready, sit quietly and focus on the sensation of drinking it. (Need an idea? Make a London Fog! Here's a recipe.)

45. Make bread. This is often a process with several steps and forced waiting, as you welcome the rising of the yeast.

46. Try a new recipe. (If you've never made bagels before, that's a great way to combine this strategy and the strategy just before it!)

47. Spend five minutes daydreaming about something you're excited about.

48. Ask a loved one for their favorite recipe and then make it for yourself.

49. Commit to setting aside your electronic devices for a set period of time.

50. Eat your next meal outside, choosing to view whatever weather you encounter as nourishing.

51. Listen to some poetry. (Abby's got you covered with three poems about hope, here.)

52. Practice gratitude through journaling about one thing you're especially grateful for today.

53. Take gratitude breaths.

54. Journal. (Keep an eye on the Haven blog for prompts!)

55. Get 10 minutes of sunshine and/or fresh air.

56. Make some art. You might specifically consider drawing how you are feeling, or drawing your gratitude for whatever part of you is taking care of yourself.

57. Sing or play some of your favorite music.

58. Engage in a new kind of music, perhaps through a Tiny Desk Concert.

59. Make a playlist of songs that comfort you. Save it for any day you need it.

60. Write haiku of what you wish you could teach yourself and fully learn. (Here are beautiful instructions on how to write haiku.)

61. Offer something you have created or done to a higher power -- a prayer, an act of kindness, an offering.

62. Provide yourself with supportive touch.

63. Visit a tourist attraction or interesting spot in your own community. (You might use this website to help you find things you didn't know about.)

64. Give yourself the pep talk you would give a beloved friend in your same situation.

65. Speak affirmations to yourself. Some ideas include:

    1. I am doing my best right now.

    2. I am an important part of humanity.

    3. Others delight that I exist.

    4. I am (insert your favorite quality about yourself).

    5. I am a devoted (insert your favorite relationships with others).

    6. I create beauty through (insert your favorite ways you influence the world -- big, small, or in between).

Reorienting

66. Find an organization you care about and donate something, even just $5, to them.

67. Make a gift for someone in your community who is suffering.

68. Make a meal for someone in your community who is suffering.

69. Text someone that you are thinking of them.

70. Send someone a funny picture or a joke.

71. Find five items you don't need anymore and give them away (through Buy Nothing, a Little Free Library, etc.).

72. Practice concentrative meditation through making a friendship bracelet; then gift it to someone dear to you.

73. Schedule a time to volunteer in your community or to help a friend with a project or childcare.

74. Take a walk and see how many different kinds of trees or plants you can identify.

75. Write a note to your past self. Then, write a note to your current self from future you.

76. Learn something just to indulge your curiosity. Here are some ideas:

    1. Numbers. Everything about numbers.

    2. The optimal way to dice an onion.

    3. How Jelly Belly invents jelly bean flavors.

    4. How a whole country switched the lanes you drive in, overnight.

    5. How -- and why -- to do a wheelie.

    6. Why zebras have stripes.

    7. Anything about histories of foods (Abby has curated a whole list, here.)

77. Write down ten things you absolutely believe to be true.

78. Attend -- or even participate in -- a local community mic night. Make it your goal to give compliments to at least three people.

79. Choose a book to listen to (you can find recordings of many books in the public domain, here). Consider listening to a children's book or something that is not in your first language.

Engaging community care

"Self care was never meant to be a replacement for community care."

• How to Keep House While Drowning (pg 131)

80. Reach out to a crisis line for immediate support. (In the United States or Canada, call 988.)

81. Ask someone dear to you for a hug. (Check out these research-backed benefits.)

82. Take a walk with a friend.

83. Play with a pet.

84. Write a thank you note to someone who has impacted you positively in the past two days.

85. Write a poem or song in honor of someone who has given you a gift -- whether a physical gift, a beautiful lesson, or a witness/model. (Consider sending this poem or song to that person!)

86. Call a friend who has emotional space for you to vent -- and do so.

87. Set up a video chat with someone you miss.

88. Write an "Awwww" list of the kindest small things others have done for you in the past.

89. Tell someone you need to get out of the house and ask if there is an errand you can run for them.

90. Find and hire a therapist for your mental health support team.

91. Attend a community event at your local park or library.

92. Next time you have to do a set of work tasks that you can do on the move, go do them in a community setting (a cafe, park, or library) rather than on your own.

93. Find a professional support event and put it on your calendar (for example, the next Haven Happy Hour).

94. Ask someone to hold you accountable to enacting three self-care strategies from this list.

95. Take a class to learn a new skill (woodworking, glassblowing, birdwatching, etc.).

96. Seek advice about any stressful situations from someone who has experienced something similar to your current struggle.

97. Seek advice about any stressful situations from someone who knows you well, even if they don't share a particular experience.

98. Organize a game night.

99. Ask three people you look up to if they have a mantra they use, or if they have mantra suggestions for you.

100. Ask a colleague what one self-care tip they suggest, and then try it as best you can.

Do you have more suggestions? Comment below!